Day 10,003

Similar to yesterday, I woke up this morning with no clear agenda. I did, however, get woken up by a phone call from my friend Ghania. He was asking me if we were going to go to this Egyptian gathering in San Jose to watch the finals of the Africa Nations Cup. I was very hesitant to go but ended up going anyways. We rented a car and Omar Shaker, Omar Fahmy, myself, Ghania, and Ghania's friend Mostafa joined.

The reason I was hesitant to go is because I had a strong feeling that this trip had very little ROI. I am not a huge soccer follower so I don't really care about following the game. I also don't have strong ties with most of the people I was going to run into at the gathering, so I really had no good reason to go. Was my hunch right? Yes and no. I did run into a few people whom I haven't seen in a while and wanted to see, but I still feel like I could have utilized those seven hours better.

When we came back I did some work on my "enchanted forest" art project. I was cleaning up some of the vectors so I can go to NoiseBridge tomorrow and cut out the pieces. I invited my coworkers on Wednesday for an evening of painting. Or, as I would prefer to say, a "psychedelic painting ceremony."

As the evening came along though, I started descending into a state of mind that I very frequently descend into these days. That is, the state of feeling lost. I openly acknowledge that I don't know what I am doing with my life. I am lacking clarity in terms of how I want it to pan out. And, while I feel deeply gratified by the options I have as far as where I can live and work, my life is lacking on some basic fundamentals. Those many many options in life that I have, coupled with the confusion of not knowing what I want, is putting me in a state of paralysis.

As I am writing this, I am making it extremely clear to myself that this state of paralysis must end. I need to establish a clear vision for myself, and that to me is currently my top priority.

On another note, today I officially kicked off an experiment to study to what degree San Francisco is Islamophobic. I'll be posting a more detailed update on that some time this month.

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